Eurgh, do you know it's nearly April Petit Filoux?!!!
Well yes readers, I'm not going completely bonkers!!!! Today, I want to tell you about a little resolution I kept to myself. One, because it really won't interest anyone, and two, because it's a gross habit anyway. (So yes, please don't feel you have to read on!)
Basically, you know how some people bite their nails when they're nervous/ stressed/ bored? I don't do that, but until 31/12/10, I did have a rather unappealing similar habit of my own: I bit my lips. And I didn't just bite them with my teeth, I'd pick at them with my nails too. Gross, I know. Now, I can't explain where this even came from, I certainly don't remember doing it a primary school. But my mum assures me I did in secondary school. My memory's not that great, so that'll have to remain a mystery.
Basically, as you can imagine, it didn't use to leave my lips in tip top condition. More often than not, I'd make myself bleed, or even worse, would bring on a cold sore or two. It wasn't pretty and I knew it, but I just couldn't help it. It felt good. Really satisfactory.
But there had to be an end to that. I didn't want to turn 30 and have to carry on hiding my sore lips in photos. No no no. I must be grown up and give up this silly unsightly habit.
And so I did. On the 1st of January 2011. I didn't mention it to you because, well I know it's rather disgusting, and more importantly I wasn't sure I was going to succeed. I'd given up temporarily before when I'd been in places where I couldn't wash my hands often - see, I'm clean, I only used to pick with clean nails ;-) Going to Cambodia for example helped a lot. But I was determined to see this one through regardless.
As a reward, every time I pass a month, I allow myself to buy a new lip gloss/ balm/ lipstick. I live on lip balm anyway, I'm sure if you did an analysis of the chemicals in my stomach at any one time, there'd be a ridiculous amount of Carmex and/ or Body Shop hemp lip protector. Not something I like to stop and think about if I'm completely honest.
But anyway, in a couple of days it will be April and I'm still doing ok. No way has this been easy. I still touch my lips on a regular basis, just to pretend I'm picking at them I guess. I still need that contact. And when the weather's really rubbish and they turn into cardboard, it makes it particularly hard. Little dry bits of skin scream at me PICK ME PICK ME PICK ME!!! But I'm fighting it. I suspect this isn't a habit which is going to go away easily. But goodness it feels good to know I'm trying to beat it. And it's worth it every time I go to the toilet and look at myself in the mirror, and there's a lovely pair of lips smiling back at me (well not really, I don't just check myself out and smile obviously, they're just smiling on the inside).
If there's anyone out there from a make up company who'd like to send me lip products, go for it :-)