But I hate charity street workers. Now, don't get me wrong, but the way they go about their business really gets to me. Is this a rant you can see coming along? Hell yes. Here it goes!!!!
So, first of all, I lost all respect for you, little street rats, when I realised you all share the same patch. Honestly, I can never walk past that church and that supermarket and that train station without being harassed. That's three times on my journey home. Not. Impressed. It gets me all worked up when I'm meant to be relaxing after leaving work.
And the worse thing is, you try and make me feel guilty. It worked the first few times, but I've been doing that same walk for the last three years now, so I can tell you your little tactics fail to have any impact on me whatsoever. I don't want to have to pretend that 1/ I'm in hurry 2/ I'm on the phone 3/ I've already subscribed to your charity. I like to make my own decisions thank-you-very-much, I don't like to be pressurised by a spotty adolescent/ aren't-I-so-cool-I'm-helping-to-save-the-world hippy/ angry person who just wants my money. Those fake smiles, honestly. And don't go on calling me love/ darling/ gorgeous , I know you don't mean it, it gets me even more annoyed. We're not mates. It's not because we were born in the same decade that you can try and be all matey with me. So just back off.
Oh and the way you like to get in my way. Like physically? What's that all about? Not only do I feel like I have to avoid eye contact with you otherwise you will literally pounce on me, but I have to juggle around other people who happen to be walking on the same bit of pavement at that moment, so you're more likely to try and harass them rather than me. I don't like to feel threatened, or feel like I have to change my habits/ behaviour because of you. Just leave it to me yeah? If I want to give money to save/ help the world's ever increasing list of categories at risk (think circus animals, pets, children, women, old people blablabla) I'll do it on my own accord. And don't even think that me saying that makes me a bad person. No way jose. I just like to do what I like, when I like. Not when I'm going home after a full day at work. Last thing I want to do is stand there listening to your sales pitch. Because you're not fooling anyone. I know some of you get paid to do this, you don't just do it out of the goodness of your heart (not that that would make it any better).
Now, how do you feel about this? Actually, I'd say charity street workers are high up there with another type of street rat: those that give out free newspapers. But that's another post in itself.
(ps: rant over - you can breathe now)