Back and fat

Hello all!! I’m back! Finally!!! It seems like absolutely ages actually, and it’s pretty weird being back. I have a million and one things to talk about, things I want to tell you, photos I want to show you, but weirdly I have no idea where to start. Well, how about the beginning? Thank you for your messages, I had a lovely birthday. Actually, it was a lot better than lovely. Try amazing. Fantastic. Surreal. Boyfriend proved he was the best boyfriend ever by booking us (this was my birthday surprise/ present) into a posh b&b, but not the type where you have to watch how you hold your knife and fork. No, it was just stunning, all the lush little extras, ooh I’d love to be there now!!! I’ve got to sort through the 700-odd photos we managed to take, after which I’ll get a best-off organised. Do come back later on in the week for a little sneaky peak. So the holiday went really well. A bit of rain (ok, how about pouring rain, let’s be honest!), some beautiful sunshine (especially on my birthday – lucky me!), beautiful places, amazing scenery, and lots and lots and lots of nice food. Have I mentioned the food? Well, I’ll save all the nice holiday stuff for later. Need to get my thoughts in order otherwise there’s a risk I’ll just carry on babbling. And trust me I can babble. You haven’t seen the worst of it here yet, but I’ve been told I can speak for England – Anyway! I digress!!! I wanted to talk about the food. So there it goes, I have been indulging big time. For a while now. So much so that my wardrobe is growing smaller and smaller every week. Things that really can’t be worn anymore because the buttons threaten to pop or my chubby arms don’t fit it. So Boyfriend took me shopping on Sunday to try and find a new pair of jeans (one of my favourites died over the holiday, there’s now a massive hole around the bum area – not a good look!). But then it started. Trying on jeans in what I thought was my size. Then trying the one above. And another. Still no good. Still tight around the thighs. By that point, I was close to bursting into tears in the shop so we left. Best for everyone. Boyfriend’s sister did WeightWatchers last year and she lost loads. Now she’s nearly too skinny. That’s not about to happen to me, so I thought about it. They have this online thing so you don’t have to go to meetings. I don’t fancy meetings. But then I saw the price and this month is really tight, with the holiday and a weekend visiting friends coming up, I just don’t have the spare cash. So I’m making my own WeightWatchers plan. I’ve decided to give up my gym membership (I hate the gym and can’t bear to go anymore) and take up classes at this other gym instead. Better for what I need at the moment I reckon. Some group energy you know. So there, haven’t been to any yet (Monday nights are knitting group nights!) but hopefully I’ll pull my finger out this week. And goodness do I need it. So today there will be no packets of crisps or chocolate muffins. Instead I will be eating the fruit that I buy diligently every week. And there will be some portion control. Big time. Because that’s my downfall you see. I don’t really stuff my face with fast food, not at all really (apart from crisps – who’s the evil person who invented crisps?!!!!), but I do tend to eat a lot of the good stuff. A. LOT. So there, I’ve said it. I’m at the biggest I’ve ever been and the biggest I ever want to be. It’s all going to be downhill from here. The weight that is. Fingers crossed. Wish me luck?